What names do you recognize more: D.J. Tanner, Punky Brewster, and Winnie Cooper; or Candace Cameron, Soleil Moon Frye, and Danica McKellar?
If you said the latter then turn off the television set and go outside.
Most people would have said the first set of names mainly because they are the characters of famous shows that the country fell in love with.
Over the years we have seen these faces other places but immediately recognize them as “that girl from Full House” etc.
The same thing will happen to Natalie Dylan, whether she likes it or not.
However, instead of being recognized for her acting credentials she’ll be noted and talked about as the girl that sold her virginity in an online auction – it has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
Imagine introducing her to your parents for the first time: “Mom, dad, this is Natalie. She is funny, in grad school, oh, and she sold her virginity on the Internet. Well, we’re going to be late for the movie.”
Any job interview, any friends, anything. This is her claim to fame. But hey, she’s got a degree.
But without a doubt this is an amazing idea, scratch that, phenomenal idea. She will get what she wanted and more, like hundreds of thousands of dollars more.
My problem isn’t really with her, it’s with the guy who is willing to put that much money out there to penetrate.
How does this guy approach the next girl he wants to pursue?
“Hey, um, I’m Greg. I spent $500,000 to bang a chick, if it’s any consolation she was a virgin, well she said she was virgin.”
What worries me the most is what happens if this dude lasts under five minutes. Poor guy throws away hundreds of thousands of dollars and can’t last longer than a commercial break.
Seriously, though, despite the media and public taking shot after shot at her, what she is doing is genius. The cliché goes: Bad publicity is still publicity.
She will be in a completely legal situation at a place that will make sure everything is completely safe and she’ll be doing something rather enjoyable – good for her.
But then there’s society.
There are the relationships after, the dirty looks, the under-the-breath comments, and the jobs.
What about her degree? The girl wants to be a therapist.
Good luck getting clients once they found out you sold your body for sex.
It’s unclear whether or not she is aware of the social stigma that will be next to her for the rest of her life.
She will forever be a “D.J. Tanner”. Sadly, this is her defining moment.
But it’s not my life. It has no effect on me whatsoever. We will probably never meet in real life, unless I immediately take out a giant loan, and this is why my views are so laid back.
Even the haters have to admit that when this is all said and done, being able to walk out of that building with that much money for “15 minutes or less of fame” is a great idea.
In fact, ladies, just throwing this out there. Anyone interested in bidding on my second time having sex feel free to visit www.ebay.com/3340532.
My life goals include: buying new rims for my car, falling asleep every night, and passing Humphrey’s hellhole called Mass Media Law.
Right now my only offer is some duct tape and a box of thumbtacks so don’t be shy.
Note: I have a tracker logging everyone who clicks that link and so far three people have. Their IPs trace back to Cherise Estes, Michael Smith and Michael Fitzgerald. I’m just saying…
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1 comment:
This column shows a writer with a good sense of the ironic and a good sense of humor.
The column could have developed one portion more - the idea that this particular portion of this woman's life will dominate her for the balance of her natural years.
The writer touches on it in different places in the column, but it could have been expanded at its first mention.
A little reorganization is all for that.
One issue the writer raised that I hadn't really considered, is that the person who eventually is the winning bidder will become famous, too. Maybe more famous.
Are there enough couches on enough talk shows to hold all these people?
I liked what the writer tried to do at the end of the column with these three grafs:
"In fact, ladies, just throwing this out there. Anyone interested in bidding on my second time having sex feel free to visit www.ebay.com/3340532.
My life goals include: buying new rims for my car, falling asleep every night, and passing Humphrey’s hellhole called Mass Media Law.
Right now my only offer is some duct tape and a box of thumbtacks so don’t be shy."
I don't think I want to know the significance (if any) of the duct tape and thumbtacks.
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